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Suddenly Single…But Not Alone

By Portage County Business Council

By LouAnn Schulfer, AWMA®, AIF®
Accredited Wealth Management AdvisorSM
Accredited Investment Fiduciary®

Marriage and long-term relationships are wonderful partnerships.  There is love, companionship and often an understanding of each other deeper than any other bond we have with any other person.    We often cannot imagine life without one another.  I can relate to that.  We see ourselves as living happily ever after.  I can relate to that, too.  Sometimes though, life does not always work out that way.  Separation, divorce or death shatter what we were counting on for our future.  We may see it coming, or it may happen in the blink of an eye, and there is no turning back.  The pain and uncertainty is overwhelming.  There is so much to deal with.  You built your life with and were counting on your future together.  Now, you are suddenly single.  But you are not alone.

Throughout my years of client relationships and friendships in helping ladies and men who find themselves suddenly single, that is one of the most, if not the most important points to embrace, is that even though you’ve lost your life partner, you are not alone.  Allow others to help, with friends and family whom you can trust and confide in.  Seek people who’ve been through similar circumstances and have successfully navigated through the difficulty.  Listen to their stories and consider their advice.  Professionals who have experience working in situations of separation, divorce and death can help you make objective decisions; they can see and weigh the facts providing guidance to assist you through the many choices you will have to make.  Often, decisions were made as a couple.  When you are suddenly single, it is natural for the overwhelming feelings from the loss of your life partner to influence your judgements.  In the case of separation or divorce, would the thinking be different if just the facts, not emotions were used as basis for determinations?  With lifetime commitments such as marriage, it is inevitable that one of you at some point, will be suddenly single.  When that happens, how would the future be determined if the path of choices were walked with someone who’d helped others through similar pathways time and again, with knowledge of choices and their respective rules?

When you find yourself suddenly single, trust your gut feeling in who you can rely on.  Find the right balance of compassion to comprehend your situation, knowledge to understand your choices and experience to work through the decisions you’ll face.  Even if you carefully planned for the future, sometimes things don’t go according to plan.  That’s OK.  You still have options:  life is full of course corrections.  Finally, you don’t have to let go of the past to face the future.  Embrace the joys, love, experiences and accomplishments that you shared together.  Timing may not have been your choice to make, but the future belongs to you.  Remember that in this new chapter of life, “Suddenly Single”, you are not alone.

LouAnn Schulfer is co-owner of Schulfer & Associates, LLC Wealth Management and can be reached at (715) 343-9600 or
Securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a Registered Investment Advisor.  Member FINRA/SIPC.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for an individual